No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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