Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
