A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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