u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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