dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
