I bet he comes in French.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
