Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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