That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
