Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
