I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
