We're facebook friends in real life
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
