he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
