Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
