Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
