Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
