no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
