Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
