so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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