All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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