i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
