butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
