also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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