We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
