her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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