My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
