I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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