alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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