Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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