You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Too much gin, very little bucket
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
