take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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