we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
