so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
