i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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