Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
