I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
