Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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