i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You may now shotgun with the bride
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
