The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
