Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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