just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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