dude i'm inner monologue high
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
