he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
