We're facebook friends in real life
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
