Quick, to the slutcave!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
