I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
