After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
