The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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