Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You are the jesus of drinking
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
