I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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