If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
