After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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