its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My day in three words: secret purse cake
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
