I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had to cum in my sink.
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