Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
