Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
