she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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