i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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