I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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